Are You a Man Whisperer?

The following are the Ten Keys to Successful Communication with Your Man. A woman, with her superior communication skills, can be a big help to her man (and her relationship) by helping and guiding him to learn to communicate better instead of being agitated by his lack of skills in this area. Remember men communicate differently than women. If you try to talk with your man like you do your girlfriend’s you will both probably be disappointed and frustrated. However, if you practice these ten tips on a consistent basis you will be well on your way to becoming…A Man Whisperer.

Whisper #1
GIVE HIM SPACE–One strategy that works well with men is to tell them something you want their feedback on and then ask them to think about it for a day before answering. It takes men time to process information—especially emotions.

Whisper #2
SIMPLIFY–Learn to simplify the conversation. If you talk to your man like you do your girlfriends he will just stop listening. Men have about a 30 second attention span. If you don’t get to the point by then their mind will start looking for other problems to solve.

Whisper #3
ONE TOPIC AT A TIME PLEASE–Stick to one topic at a time and let a man know when you’re changing topics. Letting a man know when you are changing topics allows him to shut off the problem solving mode and be open to the new topic.

Whisper #4
BE CONSISTENT–Consistency is very important when communicating with men. Men generally cannot process more than one thing at a time.

Whisper #5
LEARN HIS LANGUAGE–Men are much more literal in their conversations than women. When he asks you what is wrong and you say, “Nothing” he will likely take you at your word.

Whisper #6
GIVE HIM A PROBLEM TO SOLVE–Men love to problem-solve. Rather than nagging him about an issue that’s troubling you, say something like, “Honey, I have a problem that I’d really like to get your help with.”

Whisper #7
GET PHYSICAL–Since men are action-oriented, go for a walk or hiking, play a round of golf, or even drive on a deserted highway together (so he’s not distracted by traffic) when you want to talk with your man.

Whisper #8
TIMING IS EVERYTHING–If you bombard him with complaints the minute he walks in the door from a hard day at work, he’s not likely to be willing to listen. Oftentimes, giving him a half-hour to change clothes and decompress will do the trick.

Whisper #9
FIGHT FAIR–Men and women argue differently. You cannot take to heart much of what a man verbalizes when he is upset. He doesn’t think about what comes out of his mouth, especially in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately for men, women do.

Whisper #10
SPEAK PLAINLY–Remind him often that you just need to be heard, you are not looking for a solution. Tell him that at the beginning of the discussion so that he can switch off his “problem-solving” mode.

5 replies
  1. intensesimplicity
    intensesimplicity says:

    Sometimes I feel like my guy just doesn’t want to talk period. He parks himself in front of the TV or the computer every night or just falls asleep. How can we break this habit without me nagging?

  2. Rick Johnson
    Rick Johnson says:

    Women develop intimacy by talking. Men create intimacy by doing things. If you want to create intinmacy together, find something phsical he likes to do and do it with him. He’ll be willing to talk to you while you are doing it.

  3. chaz345
    chaz345 says:

    May I suggest that using the phrase that women are BETTER at communication than men plays into the very anti-masculine attitudes that cause so many problems. Nearly everything we hear on communication teaching is geared toward teaching men how to communicate more like women because after all women are better at it.

    Are women more complex in how they communicate? Absolutely.

    Are they better able to deal with and talk about multiple things at the same time? Sure.

    Do they talk with multi-layered meaning where there is meaning and feeling beyond the actual words? Often.

    But those things are not necessarily superior to the typical male, one thing at a time, straightforward say exactly and only what you mean approach.

    I absolutely agree with what you say in this article about teaching women to "speak man style" and maybe I'm a little oversensitive to the use of the word better, but I've recently been spending time consiously focusing on "man bad woman good" messages that are so much a part of the norm that many don't even see them anymore.

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